Honest to Blog

Hey dudes. So this is my Australia blog, where I will update you about my life (only the interesting parts) so I don’t have to email all you fuckers individually and say the same thing, because guess what. I have to pay for the Internet. BLASPHEMY! Plus, there will be pictures.

So if you talked to me in the past month or so, you probably experienced some whining about my leaving, specifically regarding the 21-hours-on-a-plane part of the whole thing. I’m pleased to report that it ended up being the best flying experience of my life, mostly thanks to my parents using their miles to upgrade me to business class. During my 5-hour layover in San Francisco, I got to hang out in United’s Red Carpet Club (not to be confused with The Red Carpet in St. Cloud, where I also spent many hours before my last flight from Minneapolis to Chicago. However, that flight was incredibly unplesant as I only got three hours of sleep, was still drunk, and the lady sitting next to me threw up). Here there were millions of comfy leather chairs, free food, free coffee, and free booze. You could definitely tell that I did not belong in such a place as the moment I spied individually wrapped crackers and cheese, I filled my purse with them in hopes to make a meal out of them and save myself approximately $5 on dinner.

Then I got to pre-board on the biggest plane I have ever been on, sit in a comfy chair, and be served delicious food and more free booze. Well, the filet was a bit rare for my taste…but I can’t really complain. I slept for about half of the 15.5 hour flight and spent the rest of the time listening to my iPod, editing photos on my laptop, watching the end of “Lars and the Real Girl”, and playing spider solitaire.

When I got to Sydney, stealing all those cheese and crackers came back to haunt me as I realized in the middle of the customs line that I had checked that I had no food on the form. The lady asked if I had any snacks from the flight and I said yes, a Rice Krispie treat. This was an understatement as I had at least 8 Rice Krispie treats, many granola bars, and the cheese and crackers. She pointed me straight ahead to a giant table where I was sure they were going to open all my belongings, find said food, and send me back to the United States in coach. But no, for some reason I got to skip the part where they opened my bags and entered the country with my illegal individually wrapped cheeses.

Then I flew to Canberra, yadda yadda yadda, I’ll skip the boring stuff. Now I am sitting in my dorm room with everything unpacked. Even though I am here, I still don’t really believe it. I was walking through the kitchen earlier listening to two accented boys talk to each other, which isn’t unusual for me, I go to Mac. All of a sudden I realized “Holy crap, I’m in a different country on the opposite side of the world from everything I know and love.” It’s weird.